View of the Father

One of the small group questions this weekend at our church's Recovery program was "What historically has been your relationship with God?"

Historically, my relationship with God has been a view of God being somewhere "out there." A distant God that was only concerned with what I am doing right and doing wrong. My view has been that He is happy when I am doing good and angry when I am not. I have always had a difficult time grasping how personal He is and how much He loves me (as I am) and as my pastor says...not some future version of me. In other words...the abundance of His LAVISH GRACE in Christ!

As I said in my earlier post, I have been struggling with anxiety and depression lately...and the Lord is so sweetly showing me that part of my problem is my incorrect view of Him and His character.

This is how He spoke to me this weekend...

First...I have heard the story of the Prodigal son 3x since Friday...yep, you read correctly...3x! Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Each time, the Lord emphasized to me that the Father was watching for the son to return and even while the son "was a long way off", the Father ran to him and embraced and kissed him." How powerful to know that even when we go our own way, the Father is always watching us and longing for our return...and that HE RUNS to us and EMBRACES us!

Second...talking to a girl this weekend, she shared how much she struggles with trying to do things right, be perfect, get right with God. I was overwhelmed with sadness as she spoke as I literally felt the amazing love that God has for her and how much it hurts him that she cannot see it. Yes, I know, ironic :) As soon as I realized the irony, I asked the Lord, is this how you feel about me? I'm sure you can guess His answer.

Third...church this morning. 2 songs during worship just spoke God's love for me. Come Ye Sinners has a part that says "I will arise and go to Jesus, He will embrace me in His arms...I was reminded of the Father in the story of the prodigal son and how he embraced his son. Second...Jesus Savior Pilot Me...this was a song played at our wedding. Just an awesome reminder to trust Him to pilot me.

Lord, I thank you for Your peace, patience and love. I love you. Thank you for being faithful to finish the good work you have started in me. Help me to rest and trust in You and You alone.

- Luci

Philippians 1:5-6
5because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, 6being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

Weeping may last for a night, but JOY comes in the morning...

The last several months have been extremely dark for me. I have been battling almost daily depression and anxiety/panic attacks. My inner world has been dominated by fear. There were times I truly did not think I could take even one more minute. There were times that my heart burned in pain within me. There were times that the pressure was so great, I thought I might be crushed....BUT

THE LORD IS FAITHFUL. HE IS...even through my lack of faith, unbelief, and fear, HE has NEVER left my side. He is kind and gentle and has provided rest for my soul. He has never allowed more than I can bear. He has strengthened me, He has raised up prayer warriors (thank you!!), He is conquering my pride, self dependence, understanding (my ways), fear, and incorrect views of Him and of myself and is gaining victory at every turn. He is a victorious warrior against everything He finds displeasing in me. He is my comfort, my ROCK, my salvation, my everything.

Jesus thank you for being THE TRUTH that sets me free. Thank you for opening Your Word for me this morning and showing me You. I surrender ALL Please help me want more of You.

Jesus You are amazing and I am so grateful to belong to you. I love and praise You.

-Luci

Psalm 30:5
For his anger is but for a moment,and his favor is for a lifetime. Weeping may tarry for the night,but joy comes with the morning.